The Chains That Bind...

I do apologize for the lack of posts... I understand not many people read this.. If anybody anymore.. (My hats off to you, Emily.. For I know you'll get around to reading this.. And I thank you.. For you alone, my words that I type, the time it takes to type them, and the effort to share them, are not in vain).

I feel less Romantic than I know I am very well capable of.. I know I have been out of headache preventatives for over a week and headaches aren't helping anything, including stress levels, which job and family issues aren't helping that either.

Have you ever wanted to say something or do something, but just couldn't? It has nothing to do with energy, effort, courage, ect.. You want to do it.. But.. you just can't.. Like something is stopping you.. Something is in your way.. Preventing.. Holding you back.. I feel that way.. And I apologize for all whom it effects..

And again.. Fate seems to slowly be pushing people away.. Slowly fading.. My friends I talk to even remotely frequently are now down to...

Tyler...
Alias - Aimee
Alias - Ellie
Emily (Slowly drifting apart)
Chelsey (Slowly drifting apart)

And that is it.. And to think.. Gaia Online I had over 100 friends.. Over 5,000 comments and was even going for 10,000 before they put the 500 limit on, and before I was hacked by a friend that I refuse to confront, for I feel as though she saved me from there instead of punishing me...

And to think.. The recent mess has pushed, or hurt my trust, with Tyler and Aimee..

Is it.. wrong to almost miss Ash, JUST because I've known her for so long? I use to think friendship with her was a curse... But now.. I can't believe how distant we've grown.. It almost hurts, as twisted as it is..

And Chloe.. My eyes get watery everytime I mention or even think her name.. Just like now.. Sometime.. I still forget she's gone.. And to be honest, if she were to randomly pop online.. I wouldn't believe it.. I would assume it was a friend or enemy just playing some sort of prank or being an imposter... As sad as that is..

Anyways.. I apologize for this rant.. i just.. It seems I have less and less people to talk to.. And even if nobody reads this.. Just to write them down.. I've shared them with my computer.. And sadly.. As pathetic as it sounds.. As sad as it is... That makes me feel a little better..

Now.. just to wait until my computer slowly fades, and dies, and disappears from my life.. Just as it seems everyone else eventually does.. But have no fear.. The time we spend together.. I cherish.. and will always remember..

And for those memories.. I thank you.. For letting these chains feel just a little bit lighter..