Maddening Shroud

The title is a song from my favorite artist, Frou Frou. I couldn't quite think of a proper title for the things I wanted to say, but this pretty much sums it up.

First off, I'd like to note that my old gamer friend, Tara AKA Sapphire, has come into contact with me and we're going to attempt to be friends, again. We've had many attempts but, well something about us seems to clash, causing a fight.. Then we say things we don't necessarily mean, our friendship gets ruined for a length of time, before one of us makes the move to approach the other, we both appologize, and move on... I don't like the pattern because it means there's going to be another fight further down the line but I hope this is the final time we patch things up and we stay friends. She's improving her life as I am attempting to improve mine. Jade and Chloe have been a huge help.. Sofi is also being helpful. More-so each day.

That brings me to the next point... I'm not sure if she'd want me to mention her name, but, as I'm sure she'll read this eventually because I refuse to post until she comments this blog-post, I feel as though I must say her name in order to make a, sort of dedication to her.. Jade..

First off, that's a pretty name, isn't it? I've known an Amber, a couple Crystal's, Tara's username was Sapphire.. I like when people have names of beautiful things, because it adds to their own beauty. Second, she's not only amazingly beautiful (as it seems my newer friends are, as well as Tara.. How can a guy so unlucky as me, be friends with so many beautiful girls? o.0) but she is also smart. Maybe not so much book smart, but psychologically, she understands her own actions and emotions more-so than many others do. While others may be confused on why they feel this way or act that way, she knows what she's doing and why. That's like, stepping back and watching/analyzing yourself, which takes guts. *Smirks* Her convo's are memorable. Spoken with depth and not just shallow randomness just to kill time.

But as of late, something odd has been occuring... Not only has midnight chats come to a screeching hault, but something is definately off... It's like... Well, let me put it this way. It's like watching someone you care alot about, defend themselves against unspeakable odds... Watching them take hit after hit... And as much as you want to help... You can't.. I want to help her but I don't know how. She deserves to be happy and lately she's been every other emotion BUT happy.

If anyone else is in a similar situation, is there any way to reach them and help them? I guess all I can do for now is, sit on the side-line's and wait for her to tell me what I can do.. I really do generally care about her as a friend and I don't like seeing her in any pain of any kind.. And no that's not in a selfish way, I don't want to help her just to ease my own worry, please do NOT get that impression.. I'd take any pain of hers and bear it myself if it was possible...

Ok, now I have no idea what other things I wanted to say. I just wish Jade would feel better and I felt like making a post to anounce it. That she means THAT much to me, as a friend, that I want everyone to know... And like I said earlier, I won't make another blog post until she responds to this post, even if it's with "...".