Psychobabble

Another song from the awesome artist "Frou Frou" even though it's mostly talking than singing.

I'm glad Jade is ok (as you can read by my last blog under the comments). Anyways, I thought I'd also take the liberty of expressing an issue Jade doesn't like...

It's no secret that I'm insecure. 17 failed relationships will do that to anyone lol. Especially one being a... Well you all are aware of my Ashy Hell. (Yes Jade, you may be annoyed by that phrase, and I am glad she's turning her life around and being good now, but even she admits to her many flaws and times she's hurt me.) For those that are close to me, I'm always worried about what they think of me, and fear that I may make some sort of mistake and ruin their friendship some how..

But that isn't the biggest issue... As you can read from my earlier blog post "Personality Test", I am a Romantic and I live for love. They become my everything, which borders Obsession... Or at the very least, is a healthy obsession. We aren't talking about stalking or anything, but I'd be mroe than happy to just the rest of my life with the one I love, not going out but even staying in and cuddling. I seem to put the one I love on a pedestal... Which comes to the issue.. I don't seem to value my own life. I'd take a bullet for any of my close friends without so much as thinking about it. Until I find the one I love, then of course her happiness and safety comes above theirs.. Sorry. =/

Anyways, I don't see my life as that valuable. I'm not that special, unique, talented, ect... I have Romantics but that's about it, and look where it's got me? Nowhere. However, I do have an ego (As do all guys, just varies on how much a part of them it is. To some it's everything, and to others they could care less about it.) and I also have my buttons. Anyone who insults my Romantics or reason for living (Love) gets me extremely defensive. So.. I must value my own self to some extent.. Right? Or is that just a simple human reaction and nothing more? I'm not depressed.. I'm not unhappy with myself. I've just accepted being normal in the eyes of the media and the public. Is that necessarily a bad thing?

Of course, it very well be that I need help figuring out everything that is "me", lol. I'm decent at analyzing but when it comes to me, I can guess a million paths/choices/options/reasons... But that doesn't get me anywhere. -.- I guess that's what you learn when you go to school and get the actual degree to be a Therapist. All I can do is say what "can" be wrong, while they can narrow it down and figure out what "is" wrong.

Anyways... Yeah, the title of this blog post is Psychobabble, because that's basically what it is. Some of my weakness's along with a request for help... No ryhme or reason to this blog post really, other than to thank Jade for responding to my last blog post about her. And I'd like to clarify that I wasn't going to post anything until she made a comment on my last blog post. That is simply because, I care what she has to say, and I wanted her to read what I had to say.

Thank you for everyone who has read this, I know it's boring and I'm sorry. From now on I'll try to make things more interesting... I know I still have to post some of my poems, as well as make a post to explain the meaning behind the name of my blog...

~Timothy Bryan Jude~ AKA ~Orothe Animite Naroom~