(Poem) Soulmate Onto Suffering

I want to help-----------My heart beats fas-----I'll do my best
I want to please,--------My chest is tight,-------To come around,
I need support----------This cannot happen----To hold my head up
And want to ease.-------It isn't right.-----------And not break down.

I try my best--------My head starts beating--My spazzing was right
And tried Romance,--And begins to throb,--My nightmares came true,
I'll stick to love-------It takes effort---------I have to face facts
Or shield and lance.---Not to sob.-----------I have... lost you...

I can't compete---------My name is Tim Jude
I just can't win,---------This sounds kind of rough,
You won't let up--------I live for love
Just strike and grin.----I'm not that tough.

My love, my life--------The good is gone
My everything---------My light is lost,
I give you freedom-----I keep thinking
You then sting.---------At what cost?

You let me in-----------I tried my best
Then took me out,------Endure the bash,
I hate you--------------It's all in vein
Without a doubt,-------So thank you, Ash.

I entertained-----------Somehow I stand
And was your toy,------My heart can beat,
For a moment----------Does this mean
I brought you joy.-------I took defeat?

You got bored----------It can't be over
And didn't try,---------It never will,
This pain is killing------The hole in my heart
I won't lie.--------------Just own't fill.

I loved you a lot--------The pain continues
And want it back,-------I must be mad,
You are evil-------------If someone would help
Something I lack.-------I'd be glad.

I do have regrets----------Somehow I still love
And a lot of pain,-----------But it can't be,
There's only so much------How does it beat
I can sustain.--------------If ripped out of me?